Love bein' single!!

Here I am back again with my set of contradictions...Deny this or not, I am sure that at some point in life, you surely would have loved the feeling of being single!! Yeah I still feel the need for that 'someone' special...Thank god! I hv not yet reached the cynicism levels of some older frnds of mine who are 'technically' single and depressed. I still do have a ray of hope here - that I will someday meet that 'special' one! Hmm...anyways, singlehood doesnt always mean your relationship sans a partner! It could simply even be a bent of mind - doing things your way, handling ur own finances, living on your own in a strange city (Read Sushmita Bose's column 'Single in the City' in HT!!). Its your faith in yourself that matters at the end of the day! Anyway, since I hate getting preachy, I will stop right here! My personal experience with relationships has taught me to be independent - mostly in my thoughts! Thats because I have been independent otherwise in all spheres (thanks to my parents!). I have always seen that somewhere, somehow, and all the time, I have been for my friends during their distress times, but when I needed them during my crisis period, I'd always end up being alone (dont blame my frnds at all for that - its all circumstances!). So all that made me keep my feelings to myself...handle all my crisis on my own as I hate being judged! Some may think its being snobbish...but that is also a part of 'singlehood', I guess! So being single is not as boring/negative as its universally perceived. Having faith in yourself is the core idea of any relationship (with oneself/friends/lover/parents) . They say: If your bond with yourself is strong, then u can succeed in any relationship in life!! You would never even have to try!! People perceive relationships as a tool to reduce their loneliness and as a panacea to their singlehood. But it never works that way: fortunately or unfortunately! You could even remain depressed even with that special someone. I have strengthened myself to the hilt that I can stand alone with my head held high! So now all u guys, now u know why I am called 'Pozicool'!! :)

Love bein' single...

Here I am back again with my set of contradictions...Deny this or not, I am sure that at some point in life, you surely would have loved the feeling of being single!! Yeah I still feel the need for that 'someone' special...Thank god! I hv not yet reached the cynicism levels of some older frnds of mine who are 'technically' single and depressed. I still do have a ray of hope here - that I will someday meet that 'special' one! Hmm...anyways, singlehood doesnt always mean your relationship sans a partner! It could simply even be a bent of mind - doing things your way, handling ur own finances, living on your own in a strange city (Read Sushmita Bose's column 'Single in the City' in HT!!). Its a misconception that you can share love with your partner/peers only if you are physically with them!!

Yeh hai Bombay meri jaan!

Chaats....pani puri....bhel puri...paapri chaat...Chinese dosa, sandwich....smells still waft through, filling my senses! The familiar smells in Crawford market...un galiyon mein chalna...doing window shopping on Fashion street...then going to 'khau galli' near Churchgate...Goin all the way to Fountain to buy books (mostly bargaining) and that too in the searing heat of Mumbai! Those were the best days of my life!!!
So it was but natural that I would have also read 'Maximum City' by Suketu Mehta (I guess every proud Mumbaiikar has read it!) ...I drank in that book...'coz i am so familiar wid every nook n cranny...evry galli...of apunka Bombay (i still hate the name Mumbai)!! Anyways..each time I visit Bombay, nostalgia overtakes my soul and stirs me! There's certainly some pull from this amazing city - no other city (amongst the 5 cities that I've lived in) has pulled my heart's strings and chords so much!! I still feel envious of my frnds who r a part of this little island, pushes me a li'l bit more to get engulfed in its populace!
This city was the first to give me MY OWN IDENTITY!! A diffident child that i was - this land gave me confidence to hold my head high amongst the millions who travel to this city every day....I became independent thanks to this city! 'A Bombayiite will remain one forever' - i do believe this maxim thoroughly now!! 'Coz being in Delhi - has still not changed the Bombayiite in me...and no Thackeray can ever dare to change that!

A roller coaster ride in an amusement park called LIFE!!

I've never ever in my whole life ever gone to an amusement park. I was forever scared of heights, depths, water...and most importantly since childhood, i've always had a FEAR OF FALLING!!! At all times, I've been a 'safe-playing' person...and yet all the disasters happened wid me - the worst injuries happened to me (thankfully not to my frnds - who probably were more risk taking and more adventurous than me!). Whenever anything bad happened - i would start crying and was made fun of by my uncles who actually got a bucket to fill my tears...Yet everytime i fell - i learnt something new. Everytime there was a crisis - i learnt to handle myself! My first being when my grandfather passed away (when i was in sixth) - I cried n cried and believe it or not - i visualised myself and then my parents dying in a few years (i used to count on my little fingers the number of years i'd hve to pass out frm school...)...I was this insecure about life...Then it felt wat it was to sit on a roller coaster in Essel World/a Veegaland etc....Little was i to know that death was not the only thing i'd hv to learn to battle out with - there was more in God's list of 'experiences' tat i was supposed to have...heartbreaks, my first crush, my first kiss, first love, college, studies and probably more to come... I even kept this 'Imagine the worst' policy to buffer me frm disaster - but God turned even cleverer - he twisted and turned everything that came my way - he confused me all the time - if i proposed - God disposed! The moment I got a comfort zone for myself - he made sure I am displaced yet again! I hv lived in 5 cities now (Mumbai, Coimbatore, Kottayam, Bangalore n now Delhi!). Again I am wary - its 2 years here - after this where, what! I have this unique way of dealing wid my surroundings (cities) which probably gets me adjusted 2 whichever place I go to...Thanks to God...now I have stopped looking for stability...love...dreams...watever i wanted in my life! I just flow wid life and God's plans and dont dare swim against the tide...become kinda laidback - say "God has his plans for me". Dont know whether this happens wid everyone...yet...my whole life revolves around "TO BE OR NOT TO BE"...wat about u guys? Huh, wasnt reading this a roller coaster ride for u all...am sure it was...:)

Second love et al....

Hmm...i was damn jittery when i got to know I AM IN LOVE yet again! I actually began 2 think whether I'd hit gold again. They say: Once bitten is twice shy! Probably i am going thru one of thos phases: Should I/not...This was quite inevitable - After my first breakup, I had become unusually high-strung! I was becoming way too lonely...was living a miserable single life and wid no ray of light in the 'dark clouds' of my life, I was searching for HOPE. Perhaps I was turning pessimistic too. All day and night i simply prayed to God to take me away somewhere...i even tried wat the 'others' do when depressed - i attempted suicide! My life was going to the drains/dogs/and wat not...Lonely in Bangalore - i sought solace in my buddies who were there for me throughout in Bangalore...I took 2 partying whenever possible...(beer, vodka et al) - not that i became an addict. But just to defeat Life/God and the person who 'broke' my heart! I was taking vengeance with everyone/anyone who spoke against me (my parents too were not spared). After a lot of coaxing frm Dad, I decided to move to Delhi (for good)...i dedicated my entire time to work....(literally 24x7)...anyways, i decided to start life afresh! My best time in my career was the Mumbai Project...a 20-day project which changed my ENTIRE life...Soon after i met a buddy who accepted me for wat i was (whole n soul!)...Later i realised I was fast falling in LOVE...but as usual 'the second love bit' felt a li'l bit jinxed! Watever it was - he made me realise that I was actually in luv etc....i never took it seriously for fears that i might lose this frndshp...Its 4 months for our relationship on April 10th. I dont regret this 'relationship' even one bit as this isnt like the 'other' relationship which didnt even work...At times, i do think the pain of this relationship might leave scars...yet strangely enough, I feel happiness and positive energy flowing through me as though I am on another cosmos/planet, whenever I think of him...There's this one thing i learnt frm another frnd - "Every relationship doesnt come with a life-time guarantee tag..." So live life as it comes and most of all - dont lose the ppl who love/cherish u more than u love/cherish them..they maybe the ones who might stick by u all ur life!! So....SECOND LOVE is not all that bad, eh!

'Coffee' and me!

That dark brown fluid in the cup kickstarts my day. I am sure it does to urs too... The day i miss it, my day definitely goes disastrous. I distinctly remember the day when i woke up late, I did not get the time for my precious mug of coffee. I looked at the clock on my bedside of my '2x2' room. I was horrified and startled. I simply jumped off and nearly bounced off the bed, made a mad run for the loo. In the melee, I forgot my slipper, knocked my knee on the wall and injured my li'l toe finger in the process. Neverthless like a brave soldier, i limped foward to get my clothes. I finally had my bath and managed to get myself into the 'right' clothes! I shall explain 'right' to u in a while. Anyways i reached office and realised i'd missed a press conference by an hour. I felt a slight headache take over me! I knew it coming...so i went out and decided to go and get a coffee from ICH (Indian Coffee House). Mumbling a small headache, i told my senior that i am going out to get a fresh breath of air (as if the air within was foul!). The moment my friend (the waiter) got my coffee, i just pounced and gulped it as if i were 'manna' (Jesus' holy bread dipped in wine)! And the rest of the day i was on CLOUD NINE!!!