Punjab da pind and Punjab da munda Harry (Shahid Kapoor)! Zoom in on the simple village life and his constant wait for a train to arrive with the 'chiththi' (letter) from the IAF. Shahid's sister's marriage is the backdrop for the first one hour. Enter Ayat (Sonam Kapoor), a Kashmiri Muslim who has just escaped the trauma of the Kashmiri insurgency to live with her father's sister, in the same village. It is love at first sight.
After the initial song and dance routine, the secret stares and letters written in mehndi are exchanged the whole night, when the time to propose comes, Sonam disappears with her family in the morning and Shahid goes on to join the IAF. Seven years go by and suddenly it is Scotland. Shahid has become an Air Force officer and has been sent by the IAF to Scotland. Lo and behold! We see Sonam dressed in a Scottish kilt selling tickets for a Mozart concert and simultaneously handing over food to her friends while selling tickets. Shahid looking royal in his uniform, enters the concert hall and she looks at him from a distance (I guess hoping that he would look up and spot her...yeah right!).
After a couple of hits and misses, they finally meet and go on three dates. He meets her family and they keep staring at him, grilling him, trying to test his loyalty to their daughter. After the 'approval', they go to some obscure church where they dip their hands in paint, jointly making palm prints on the wall of the church (wonder which church would love people to destroy the walls) and suddenly it rains and they share their first kiss and her dumb-witted dialogue comes (after the kiss): "Abba pooch rahe they, yeh kaise hoga"...one wonders too about the same!
The next day, Shahid is seen dressing up and going to Sonam's house for the formal 'asking for marriage'. Mid-way, we do not know what happened - a blackout and suddenly a phone call informing them that Shahid had been called by IAF back to Kargil. A 'CATCH ME IF U CAN' game begins.
Amidst all this, Sonam has the time to learn ballet and kiss Shahid as well! The plot goes awry and Sonam looks as lost as the plot in the movie (and as clueless as the director), every bit confused as to how she can reach Shahid (yeah, in this modern zamana aka era of e-mails and answering machines!). The next dumb thing Sonam does is to hand over her "chiththi" that had her address and number to a girl who once had a crush on Shahid (who soon burns her letter so they are not able to contact each other!) Sonam's family is continuously shuttling between India, Scotland, and Amrika. Meanwhile, in the Kargil war, Shahid's hand is paralyzed. When Shahid goes hunting for her in Scotland, he comes to know she has moved out from there too. As he is going back in the Euro rail, he spots her standing in the snow at some random spot at the next station (one hour away from that spot), he gets down and starts running back in the snow...he does find her in a train, but with a child and another man. He walks away silently. Zoom out and it is two years gone by already!
Now he is in Ahmedabad for his childhood friend's wedding. Sonam is mourning the loss of her father and finally thinks of abandoning the search for Shahid. (Wah! kya telepathy hai). After a while, rioters are seen setting houses on fire and Sonam running out of her house. She is about to be spotted by the rioters when a hand is seen lifting her off from the spot - it is Shahid!
The plot goes so ridiculously surreal at this point that one would start tearing one's hair, thinking whether to murder the director, Sonam Kapoor, or yourself for having bought the tickets for the movie. Shahid, whose one hand is paralyzed, is seen saving Sonam Kapoor from the rioters and a baby from a giant wheel that he climbs with one hand!
Anyway, the punchline of this film is the movie's second last scene between Sonam and Shahid (yes, they finally do meet. But better not ask how): Shahid says, "Tumne bhi kuchch khoya hai, maine bhi kuchch khoya hai aur isne (a small kid saved by Shahid during the riots) bhi kuchch khoya hai, chalo apna ghar basaye"...a white horse also follows them (poor horse!). I felt like saying "Maine bhi bahut kuchch khoya (money for the tickets)" Yawn!
Rating: 1/2 star
